"Eat Chocolate. Apparently women love that for everything."

My first ever post title brought to you by the one and only Chef Roger Mooking. Thank you Roger, I needed that. Oh, should I mention that this tweet was specifically for me? Looking something like this:

"Roger Mooking @RachelEmmilee Eat Chocolate, Apparently women love that for everything. Hehehe" 

This tweet reminded me that I had a Swiss Chocolate Cake with Cream Cheese Frosting downstairs on my counter and he was right, it helped. I know things could always be worse, but I had one of those days that you wish you could have slept through. It all started around 4am when I woke up mid-anxiety attack, drowning in my own tears. I dreamt about my upcoming Wedding Day and everything was going wrong. I was in a beautiful dress but no one was noticing me standing there. My groom was no where to be found, and my Father showed no interest in walking me down the aisle. Then my sister appeared, unlike in other dreams I've had of her, she wasn't showing any signs of discomfort or sadness. She was happy and glowing like the Angel I know she is and unlike everyone else she smiled at me and complimented my dress. I woke up and cried for the first time in a while. I cried because I miss her, I cried thinking about the day we lost her, and I cried knowing she wouldn't be there on my real Wedding day. I even cried because I felt guilt for not thinking about her as often as I could, thinking I'm allowing myself to forget her.

Then came on the late night depressies. You know, when you're wide awake so late at night and everyone else is asleep, it's dark, quiet and you're alone with your thoughts? Not fun. Needless to say, I didn't get much sleep after that...

A few minutes hours later I was up and rushing to get to work on time with a stuffy nose, puffy eyes and a congested head. As usual, work was a bit demanding and there are expectations that I must meet everyday. My job is at a desk, taking calls and emails from people needing help. My job is to help them, or direct them to help the best way I can... Phone calls I take are not always pleasant, so on top of feeling run down and emotional, a complete jerk ruined my afternoon by threatening me and calling me down for defending myself and my work. Que anxiety attack number two. This would have been a good day to wear the Holter Monitor...

Things started looking up when my H2B decided to skip out on his regular Monday night outing to relax with me at home. We locked our doors and ignored the phone to watch movies in bed and eat leftovers... My Blog is starting to come to life which I am really excited about, and I can't forget about the Chocolate cake...

... I'm not exactly sure what turned my day around, but I'm going to have another slice!

Rach XO